The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love brings immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to incredibly tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and wellness .

However when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in city areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying get redirected here full attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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