The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that many of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cities, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on continue reading this physical look, motivates sex. Many gay guys wish to discover out from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar